Want What You Can’t Have

Now that there is this fleeting idea in the back of my mind that we really, truly might not be able to have kids, (even more so a negative possibility), I’ve been thinking more and more about how I really think it’d be nice to have some children of our own.

Is it because I want what I can’t have?

Yesterday I had to pick up glasses. They’re just for nighttime driving and the occasional meeting where they project their presentation on the board far away. See there I go again justifying why I had to get them… trying to make it seem like I don’t really need them all that badly. Truth is… I put them on last night to watch some television with my husband and it was crazy how different it was.. everything was fine-tuned. More precision and clarity came into focus! Who knew!

Now, my husband, he’s had glasses since before I even met him and I think he looks good in them. But I’m still hesitant… like something visible is now wrong with me. Up until now nobody can see what’s “wrong” with me… that I had two uteruses, have diabetes… endometriosis…

If we have children now… Will they need glasses immediately? What if they need those baby goggle-type glasses? Will they be okay with putting in their own contacts? Would they want lasik eye surgery?

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